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 kanibaal
Lieutenant Commander
Joined: Oct 13, 2005
Member#: 973
Posts: 307
Location: netherlands
    
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 Posted:
Thu Jul 19, 2007 2:52 pm Post subject: IF METAL WAS A HOT CHICK!! |
 
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i found this and had to laugh my ass off, hope it does the same for u guys 
If Metal Was a Hot Chick You Were Copulating With:
(a study of different sub-genres)
Death Metal: She strangles you with the umbilical cord of her 3rd-trimester aborted child and chops off your testicles with a rusty knife, then urinates on your corpse.
Progressive Metal:She ignores you completely and masturbates instead.
Black Metal: She drags you to the forest and sodomizes you with a crucifix, then accuses you of being a Zionist, communist homosexual and stabs you to death. She then burns your body for the glory of Odin and offers herself to a goat.
Power Metal: N/A. No hot chick listens to power metal. Unless you're a chubby-chaser.
Doom Metal: She whines about you thrusting too fast, then begins sobbing. She wonders why no one understands her, passes out from too much absinthe, and you don't get laid that night.
Grindcore: She gets you off in 30 seconds or less.
Folk Metal: The session ends in disgust before it really started, because flutes simply aren't meant for certain orifices.
Thrash Metal:You both have really sloppy, fast-paced sex then never see her for years. When she shows up again, she's gained 40 pounds, and she's bald.
Metalcore: You have awesome sex, and then you find out she's 15. You get arrested. |
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 Pesadelo 
Admiral (Administrator)
Joined: Feb 18, 2007
Member#: 3090
Posts: 1955
Location: Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
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Thu Jul 19, 2007 8:17 pm Post subject: |
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LMFAO
Great, kani!
Where is Gothic Metal?
Gothic: She is dressed in black and does nothing. Just lay down and still looking at the infinite, while you slap her face trying bring some life to her. She gives you a moan and starts to recite Funeral Garlands. That's all.
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 misanthrone
Commodore
Joined: Jun 09, 2006
Member#: 1992
Posts: 4046
Location: BC, Canada
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Thu Jul 19, 2007 9:59 pm Post subject: |
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I had something like this on my comp, gotta search for it.. I would definitely choose metalcore chick, and then commit suicide 
_________________
None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free - Goethe
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 Wurst
Captain
Joined: Apr 13, 2006
Member#: 1782
Posts: 1542
Location: Germany
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Fri Jul 20, 2007 1:31 am Post subject: |
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yeah i have something too the prince of metal fighting a dragon to rescue the princess and
Hopper vs. Metaller
but its both in german  too lazy to translate it now :P
the grindcore one was really nice haha ^^ |
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RelaS
Lieutenant Commander
Joined: Dec 20, 2006
Member#: 2781
Posts: 443
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Fri Jul 20, 2007 7:05 am Post subject: |
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this was so fuken funny lol! |
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 diginferno
Rear Admiral (Ambassador)
Joined: Apr 11, 2006
Member#: 1771
Posts: 3182
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Posted:
Sat Jul 21, 2007 7:24 am Post subject: |
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kani
i wonder about mixed-style chicks, like progressive/death, doom/death, blackened death, industrial/death/black and so on
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diginferno
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kanibaal
Lieutenant Commander
Joined: Oct 13, 2005
Member#: 973
Posts: 307
Location: netherlands
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Posted:
Sat Jul 21, 2007 7:27 am Post subject: |
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i fit in the death/grind genre so i do everything from the death thingy but then within 30 sec  so who's next? and u digi? haha
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You could easily be replaced by a red-ass baboon, and no one would notice the difference.
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diginferno
Rear Admiral (Ambassador)
Joined: Apr 11, 2006
Member#: 1771
Posts: 3182
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Posted:
Sat Jul 21, 2007 7:35 am Post subject: |
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it's getting complicated, because i'd fit somewhere in the post-black, folk/viking, doom/death, industrial/something realm. add some funeral doom and i don't know anymore what the hell i'm doing
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diginferno
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kanibaal
Lieutenant Commander
Joined: Oct 13, 2005
Member#: 973
Posts: 307
Location: netherlands
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Posted:
Sat Jul 21, 2007 7:56 am Post subject: |
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lmmfao!!!!
_________________
You could easily be replaced by a red-ass baboon, and no one would notice the difference.
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 cherubian
Captain
![]()
Joined: Dec 17, 2005
Member#: 1184
Posts: 1753
Location: Hangzhou
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Posted:
Sat Jul 21, 2007 8:13 am Post subject: |
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lmfao iam glad iam not your boyfriend kani
ik hou niet van je
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JOIN ZAGANISM, PM ME FOR INFOS (Headpriest Cherubian)
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kanibaal
Lieutenant Commander
Joined: Oct 13, 2005
Member#: 973
Posts: 307
Location: netherlands
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Posted:
Sat Jul 21, 2007 10:14 am Post subject: |
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awww now u broke my heart cheru 
Last edited by kanibaal on Sat Jul 21, 2007 10:49 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Blaspheretic
Commodore
Joined: Jul 01, 2007
Member#: 3647
Posts: 2568
Location: Königsee / Thuringia / Germany
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Posted:
Sat Jul 21, 2007 10:28 am Post subject: |
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Haha, very funny, great Kani, thx.
By the way, 4 u i have 3 - 4 minutes left everytime 
Additionally i would like to mention, need at least 5 mins to get rid of my armor, please don't move away during this time. |
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kanibaal
Lieutenant Commander
Joined: Oct 13, 2005
Member#: 973
Posts: 307
Location: netherlands
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Posted:
Sun Jul 22, 2007 4:26 am Post subject: |
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hahaha im sorry cant sit still *startin to get nervous*
_________________
You could easily be replaced by a red-ass baboon, and no one would notice the difference.
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 VileVince
Commander
Joined: Mar 21, 2005
Member#: 213
Posts: 665
Location: Oregon
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Posted:
Sun Jul 22, 2007 4:09 pm Post subject: |
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I prefer Death/Grind, anyone fill this prerequiset? |
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Soretooth
Lieutenant Commander
Joined: Aug 02, 2007
Member#: 3792
Posts: 391
Location: santo franco
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Posted:
Sun Aug 05, 2007 2:55 am Post subject: |
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