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 Blaspheretic
Commodore
Joined: Jul 01, 2007
Member#: 3647
Posts: 2568
Location: Königsee / Thuringia / Germany
    
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 Posted:
Wed Jul 18, 2007 8:43 am Post subject: |
 
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Sorry, i noticed that damn porn link, will change the pics, upload them from my drive, please be patient, Blasph. |
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 diginferno
Rear Admiral (Ambassador)
Joined: Apr 11, 2006
Member#: 1771
Posts: 3182
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Posted:
Sat Jul 21, 2007 9:09 am Post subject: |
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lmao, great pics, Blasph, tks for fixing them
the show must go on:
1. What is the thinnest book in the world?
What Men Know About Women.
2. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One . . . . . men will screw anything.
3. How does a man take a bubble bath?
He eats beans for dinner.
4. Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up in the morning?
Because they don�t have balls to scratch.
5. What is a man�s idea of foreplay?
A half hour of begging.
6. How can you tell if a man is sexually excited?
He�s breathing.
7. What is the difference between men and government bonds?
Bonds mature.
8. What do men and beer bottles have in common.
They are both empty from the neck up.
9. How can you tell if a man is happy?
Who cares?
10. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
No one knows. . . . . .It�s never been done.
11. How are men and parking spaces alike?
The good ones are already taken, and the ones left are handicapped.
12. What is a man�s idea of helping you with housework?
Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.
13. What is the difference between men and E.T.?
E.T. called home.
14. What does a man consider a seven course meal?
A hot dog and a six-pack of beer.
15. Do you know why there�s a hole in a man�s penis?
So he can get air to his brain.
16. How do you save a man from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.
17. How is a man like linoleum?
If you lay him right the first time, you can walk all over him for the next twenty years.
_________________
diginferno
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Blaspheretic
Commodore
Joined: Jul 01, 2007
Member#: 3647
Posts: 2568
Location: Königsee / Thuringia / Germany
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Posted:
Sat Jul 21, 2007 10:50 am Post subject: |
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 Pesadelo 
Admiral (Administrator)
Joined: Feb 18, 2007
Member#: 3090
Posts: 1955
Location: Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
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Posted:
Sat Jul 21, 2007 11:00 am Post subject: |
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LMFAO, blasph.
Simply the truth.  |
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 SeclusionSolution
Commodore
Joined: Jun 22, 2006
Member#: 2031
Posts: 3594
Location: Papua New Guinea
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Posted:
Sat Jul 21, 2007 11:18 am Post subject: |
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_________________
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Blaspheretic
Commodore
Joined: Jul 01, 2007
Member#: 3647
Posts: 2568
Location: Königsee / Thuringia / Germany
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Posted:
Sat Jul 21, 2007 11:24 am Post subject: |
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A woman's reflex.
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diginferno
Rear Admiral (Ambassador)
Joined: Apr 11, 2006
Member#: 1771
Posts: 3182
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Posted:
Sat Jul 21, 2007 11:27 am Post subject: |
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_________________
diginferno
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Blaspheretic
Commodore
Joined: Jul 01, 2007
Member#: 3647
Posts: 2568
Location: Königsee / Thuringia / Germany
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Posted:
Sat Jul 21, 2007 11:36 am Post subject: |
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RelaS
Lieutenant Commander
Joined: Dec 20, 2006
Member#: 2781
Posts: 443
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Posted:
Sat Jul 21, 2007 1:44 pm Post subject: |
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i pissed my pants laugthing |
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 VileVince
Commander
Joined: Mar 21, 2005
Member#: 213
Posts: 665
Location: Oregon
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Posted:
Sun Jul 22, 2007 4:16 pm Post subject: |
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Here's a variation
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 kanibaal
Lieutenant Commander
Joined: Oct 13, 2005
Member#: 973
Posts: 307
Location: netherlands
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Posted:
Mon Jul 23, 2007 3:44 am Post subject: |
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lmmfao!!!
_________________
You could easily be replaced by a red-ass baboon, and no one would notice the difference.
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Blaspheretic
Commodore
Joined: Jul 01, 2007
Member#: 3647
Posts: 2568
Location: Königsee / Thuringia / Germany
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Posted:
Fri Jul 27, 2007 12:05 pm Post subject: |
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Blaspheretic
Commodore
Joined: Jul 01, 2007
Member#: 3647
Posts: 2568
Location: Königsee / Thuringia / Germany
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Posted:
Tue Jul 31, 2007 2:10 pm Post subject: |
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List of rules the women should know
Let the men identify some rules to demystify their behavior.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up put it down.
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us bitching about you
leaving it down.
2. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
3. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let
it be.
4. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that
way.
5. Ask for what you want! Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not
work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
6. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar.
Remind us frequently beforehand.
7. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
8. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
9. Check your oil! Please. You always know when you're out of food to cook.
10. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
all comments become null and void after 7 days.
11. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to
answer.
12. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
13. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done.
Not both! If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
14. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.
15. Christopher Columbus and Marco Polo did not need directions, and neither
do we.
16. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we
were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
17. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for
example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. And, we have no
idea what mauve is.
18. If it itches, it will be scratched.
19. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's
wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
20. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
Really.
21. You have enough clothes.
22. You have too many shoes.
23. Foreign films are best left to foreigners (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some
war flick where it doesn't really matter what the hell they're saying
anyway).
24. I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape.
25. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you |
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diginferno
Rear Admiral (Ambassador)
Joined: Apr 11, 2006
Member#: 1771
Posts: 3182
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Posted:
Tue Jul 31, 2007 2:23 pm Post subject: |
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[quote="Blaspheretic"]
25. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you[/quote]
how about one of these?
_________________
diginferno
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Dami
Commodore
Joined: Feb 04, 2005
Member#: 87
Posts: 2567
Location: Stalag 13
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Posted:
Tue Jul 31, 2007 3:35 pm Post subject: |
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[quote="diginferno"][quote="Blaspheretic"]
25. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you[/quote]
how about one of these?
[/quote]
Interesting.
_________________
o
L_
OL
This is Schäuble. Copy Schäuble into your signature to help him on his way to Überwachungsstaat. |
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