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DFM Member's Original Short Stories Thread

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Cadet 1
Cadet 1

Joined: Oct 25, 2015
Member#: 18045
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 30, 2015 11:14 am   Post subject: DFM Member's Original Short Stories Thread Reply with quote

Hello, this is my first post in the forums, I am not sure if it is an active forum or not... But
Me and my wife write fictional short stories all the time.. Thought I might share some with you guys.. And you all could write these stories too! Love reading fantasy and sci-fi.. Or even heavy dialogue stories. Post any stories you have written below!


PS, could this become a sticky later down the road?
Cadet 1
Cadet 1

Joined: Oct 25, 2015
Member#: 18045
Posts: 4

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 30, 2015 11:21 am   Post subject: Reply with quote

SHORT STORY: Consequence of Lasers and Sympathy

The team of 4 lined up along the wall, just outside the door of the building. They could faintly hear the music coming from inside.
"How many are in here?" Asked the one closest to the door. His voice was muffled by the visor on his helmet.
The one farthest from the door nodded. "I'll check, sir." she stated, then chuckled. She turned to the wall and kneeled, taking her bag off her back and laying it on the ground.
The one beside her pulled up his visor, revealing a dark face. The expression on it was almost blank. "This will take a while." He said. His voice was deep and sounded irritated. He pulled a cigarette from his breast pocket and secured it between his lips. Immediately following was his hand bringing a flame towards it. He put the lighter back in his pocket and released his breathe. "Don't know why I was pulled into this mission" he mumbled.
The commander of the team, closest to the door, turned his attention away from the door to the man smoking.
"What was that, benjamin?" he aked from behind his visor. His voice had a tone of authority to it, his head was tilted.
Benjamin took another drag from his cigarette and then sighed. "Nothing, sir. It's just.."
The commander interrupted him. "Just nothing. I advise you to take this mission seriously. These men inside are some of the most dangerous on the planet." he made sure to raise his tone, without raising volume, lest those inside would hear them.
Benjamin sighed again and took one last drag before throwing down his cigarette into the snow. He then leaned against the wall casually and flipped down his visor. He looked to his right, downwards towards the woman. "Did you find it yet, Riley?"
Riley looked up and nodded. She pulled out a small metallic object with a cord hanging from it. She stuck the object onto the wall and then plugged the end of the cord into her visor. A few second later she spoke. "Three men, commander. There is also another room, I can't see anything in there." her tone was brief. Her accent was a thick French one.
The commander nodded. "All right." he said. "Keep watching. Now it's time for us to start. Benjamin, stay with me. You will cover the left side of the room, I will take the right. If we can catch them by surprise, we can go home with a big paycheck." he chuckled and put his arm on Benjamin's shoulder, and leaned in a little. "Enough for all of our families to live on the paycheck for the rest of their lives.. And in luxury."
Benjamin smiled behind his visor, and he could have sworn his commander was doing the same.
"Alright. Everyone.. Warm up the laser rifles, set them to single fire. And... Jeremy?"
Jeremy had been standing idle with his head down the entire time. He looked up. "Yes, sir?" He asked. His voice was dry and hoarse.
"You try to find a way in through the back. Use a window if necessary. But don't enter until you've heard us enter first." the commander stated.
Jeremy nodded and slung his rifle from his back to his front. He flipped a switch and a low hum could be heard. The weapon was warming up. He turned the side of the rifle to his view and read the small LED display. It read: "82 seconds until ready". He lowered the rifle and turned around the corner of the building, out of view of the rest of the team.
Everyone else flipped their switches, and now several different tones of soft humming could be heard. Benjamin held his rifle out in front of him. "The requisition officer approved my request the other day... Now I can use the new Mark Three prototype. 500 degrees hotter than the Mark Two's. They won't even bleed. The laser will cauterize their wounds as it goes through them." he laughed to himself and looked once more at his new gun in all it's spendour, but didn't care to read the LED display.

Riley continued to watch through the wall with her specialized equipment. She was just that- a specialist. She didn't have a weapon other than a small pistol. It wasn't even laser technology.
"Best move in now. They are listening to music, lounging in chairs, smoking cigars." She said.
Benjamin and the commander nodded to each other. The commander reached into the pocket on his hip and pulled out a small, perfect sphere with several holes in a grid formation all around it. He held it between them in his open palm.
"You remember how this works, right?"
Benjamin nodded. "Yes. Emits deafening sound. We should turn on our sound protection function before you use it. We won't be able to hear anything."
The commander let his rifle hang by the strap and put his free hand on Benjamin's shoulder... again. He chuckled. "You'll be promoted to a team commander soon, if you wanted." his tone then grew more serious as he let his hand fall of his shoulder and onto his rifle. "Okay, sound protection on."
They both pressed a button on their visor. At this point they couldn't hear each other - or anything for that matter. The commander crouched down by the door and swiped away some snow piled against the bottom of the door, revealing a small gap between the bottom of the door and the base of the building. Just enough room. He rolled the small sphere inside from under the door and then got on the other side of the door, with Benjamin on the opposite side. He said the keyword.
At that moment Benjamin raised his right leg up to his chest height, and then pulled it back hard into the door. The door slammed open, and they went in. As the door opened, Riley (who was still observing through her visor) winced. She was lucky to be outside the building. The amount of decibels that the device inside was emitting was extraordinary. She hated the high pitched tone. She was sure even being outside and hearing that would cause her minor hearing damage. The sound made her gut hurt. She refused to think about what the criminals inside must be going through.
The commander and Benjamin entered quickly with their rifles aimed to their movement. The interior of the building was not at all expected. From the outside, the building would seem to be a horribly made 2-room shack. The inside told a different story.
Smooth polished wood was the floor, with perfectly painted walls and ceiling. The colour was almost velvet.
In the center of the ceiling hung a colourful chandelier. Underneath the chandelier was a record player spinning an unknown record, with rather comfortable looking lounge chairs surrounding it. But the criminals weren't sitting, they were standing. They were covering their ears with their hands, their eyes were closed tightly shut. The cigars they were enjoying before the forced entry were now on the ground, still smouldering. The commander had entered hugging the wall to the right. He identified two men in peacoats trying to deal with the pain. They both had beards that looked like they hadn't been maintained in a while. They looked to be in their late 40's. But the commander didn't take any time to notice these small things until after he fired. His first shot was a reflexive one, it just passed by one of the men's head, but the second shot was more controlled. The second went straight through his brain. The third shot was also very successful, though it hit the man's shoulder. The one that died instantly hadn't even hit the ground before the other one was shot. They both hit the ground almost at the same time. The commander didn't hear the thud - but he did feel it on the wooden floor. He felt the heat of the gun through his gloves and knew he couldn't afford to take another shot unless he wanted the gun to give him 3rd degree burns from too much heat. He quickly ran up to the man hit in the shoulder and kicked away any weapon he would have pulled out. Then, still standing by the man hit in the shoulder, he lowered his gun and turned around to check how Benjamin handled it. He saw another man in a peacoat pointing a small pistol at him and froze up. He was thinking - where was Benjamin?
The man in the peacoat shot. He had terrible aim though, and only hit the commander's left leg. The commander tensed up and raised his rifle. It only took a second after he was shot to shoot back. The man with the pistol was shot directly in the center of his eyes.
The commander threw his rifle to the ground and ripped his gloves off quickly. He looked at his hands, they were red, and he knew they were going to be swelling up any time now. They were in excruciating pain. He looked up from his hands and looked in disbelief - Benjamin lay flag on the ground, shaking slightly.
The commander ran to him and one else. He quickly realized Benjamin took a shot - through the left side of his neck. He was choking on blood. The commander knew Benjamin was going to be dead in less than a minute. He let his arms rest on Benjamin's breastplate and pulled up his own visor. That turned off the sound protection function, and the commander could hear the sound of the screaming device bite though his ears. But he didn't even flinch. He pulled up Benjamin's visor, but was horrified to see that he was already dead. He hung his head low and let the sharp sound bite through his unprotected ears, thinking about what went wrong - and he felt responsible.
A few seconds later, the sound stopped. The commander looked up towards the door and saw a fourth bearded man in a peacoat aiming a firearm towards him. The beared man looked angry, looked like he was yelling at him. But the commander could barely hear him, his ears were still ringing and stinging. He looked at the criminal with an expressionless gaze. He didn't care about the mission anymore. He felt he had failed right when he identified Benjamin on the ground.
The criminal aimed carefully, and was about to shoot, but the commander saw a flash, a beam of red light pass through his head. The criminal hit the ground, and this time the commander thought he heard the thud. He sighed, and looked back down to Benjamin.
Jeremy entered the room from the other room, and watched his commander mourn. The entire time, from the moment the front door was breached, up until now, had only been about 40 seconds. The commander didn't even notice Jeremy enter. Instead he pulled Benjamin's laser rifle closer and looked at the LED display. It read: "65 seconds until ready."
"Numbers are the essence of all things..."
Cadet 1
Cadet 1

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 30, 2015 11:21 am   Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for reading. Lemme read yours!
"Numbers are the essence of all things..."
Germany Metalmatze777 RIP (subscribed member)

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 30, 2015 12:04 pm   Post subject: Reply with quote

Apzue wrote:
Thanks for reading. Lemme read yours!
Hi Apzue,

sorry, I am not into all that. If I ever have time to read a book or so -not jst mags or pro-lectures (for photography and sound engineering) - then it is mainly crime like Elizabeth George or Ian Rankin. But it happens only when I fall ill...

I thought your forum post would be somehow related to music, DFM or so. Nevertheless, I read it and replied.

Have a pleasant evening at DFM!

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